Maverick Nod

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Being a good friend is about being reliable, kind-hearted and thoughtful. In this way you'll develop and maintain a friendship that lasts for years. One good friend is priceless. Taking the time to nurture a friendship is worth every moment.


Steps


1
1-  Be real. Connect with people whose friendship you value and see as sustainable long-term. Good friendships don't arise from hoping someone else's popularity or networks will rub off on you. Rather, a good friendship comes about by being with people who connect with you at a basic level. If you're trying to be friends with a person just to be accepted into a certain clique, or because you'd like to get to know someone else that he or she knows, that's not friendship – it's opportunism – and eventually you'll regret the shallow nature of your involvement. Every new person you meet has the right to be accepted (or not) on his or her own merits, so it's better to just be yourself than to let anyone else influence you into being someone you are not. In turn, you have a responsibility to fill their life with good memories and happy moments. Bear in mind it's better to be detested for who you are, than to be liked for who you aren't and good friendships withstand differences of opinion or outlooks anyway and never leave your friends behind


2- Be honest. A dishonest person has no chance of having true friends because it's hard to rely or trust a person who doesn't behave in a supportive, consistent or trustworthy way.Keep your promises, do what you say you are going to do, and most importantly––don't lie! Lying happens in those moments when you say "Okay, I will..." but you never do or you only fulfill part of what you promised. Eventually people will figure you out and realize that you don't do what you say you will. If you've found yourself lying about doing things, then not trying to keep your word, start owning up to it and stop doing it. If you can't do something, explain so and trust that the friendship is strong enough for the no's as well as the yeses. And start being dependable when you say that you will do something. Don't tell other people their secrets!



  • If you know you were at fault for a missed opportunity, own up. Simply talk about it and hope that your friend will forgive you. They'd most likely appreciate it in the future, to look back and say, "Wow! I've had an amazing friend by my side." But, if you're changing, flip-flopping and undependable––that feels like you were not a good friend.
  • Good friendship is based on trust. If you break a friend's trust, the friendship may be very hard to salvage. Of course, if you have made a promise and planned to keep it, but circumstances beyond your control conspire to prevent it, let your friend know as soon as you find out. Don't wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, "Gee, I'm sorry." Instead, make a quick call to say, "Hey, I know I promised to help you with whatever it is, but my husband is telling me we're going to our country house for the weekend, and leaving tomorrow just after work - that means I won't be able to make it. I'm so sorry. Can we reschedule?" That's just honoring the fact that your friend is counting on you, and respecting the fact that, given a little notice, your friend might just be able to get someone else to help with whatever it was. At least you won't be hanging your friend out to twist in the wind.


3-  Be loyal . If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep that confidence and don't talk about it to anyone else. It's what you'd expect in return and so be tight lipped about the matter. Don't discuss your friend behind their back and don't spread rumors about the confidences they've imparted to you. Rule out gossip or backstabbing when it comes to friendship! Never say anything about your friend that you would not be prepared to repeat to their face.
  • Don't let others say bad things about your friend. Until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story, treat comments that are not supportive as hearsay and rumors. If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, then respond with something like: "I know him/her, and that just doesn't sound right. Let me talk to him/her, find out his/her perspective on this. If it turns out to be true, I'll let you know. Until then, I would appreciate it, if you didn't spread that around, because that might not be what was really meant or intended…"
  • Do not tell anyone if your friend has a crush on someone. They would feel bad if you have told someone that they would not wish to tell or a person that would spread a message about them


4- Be respectful. Good friends respect one another and show this by being openly and mutually supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align with your own, respect their choices and be open to listening about them. Don't mock or belittle what they believe in; instead, be understanding and try to keep learning. Over time, the differences will make both of you stronger and better people as well as stronger friends.
  • Always listen to what your friend has to say. Sometimes your friend will say things that you find boring, uncomfortable or annoying but if you have respect for your friend, you'll override these feelings with the desire to listen openly and give your friend the space to say what is needed and to do so without judgment.
  • There will be times when you don't see eye to eye with your friend. Rather than demanding that your friend changes their way of seeing things, disagree respectfully and be willing to see things differently.


5- Share. Being selfless is an important part of being a good friend. Accommodate your friend's wishes whenever you can provided this is done in a balanced way in your friendship. Be there when you're needed and go the extra mile if it's going to make a big difference for your friend. Reciprocate in kind with caring deeds and help and your friendship will be strengthened


6- Watch out for your friend. If you sense that your friend is getting into some sort of trouble over which they have little control, such as taking drugs, being promiscuous or getting too drunk at a party, help him or her to get away from the situation. Don't assume that they're big enough to care for themselves; this may be the very time that your voice of common sense is needed to wake them from their fugue.



  • Don't allow your friend to drive drunk - take their keys and/or drive your friend home personally.
  • If your friend begins talking about committing suicide, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the "respect privacy" step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a help line or professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend's parents or spouse first (unless those were the ones causing the problems) before involving anyone else.


7- Pitch in for friends during times of crisis. If your friend has to go to the hospital, you could help pack his or her bags; if her/his dog runs away, help to find it, if he/she needs someone to pick him/her up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school and give homework assignments when you know that one is absent and sick at home. Send cards and care packages. If there is a death in his/her family, you might want to attend the funeral – or cook and take a dish or a meal over to your friend. Care about your friend enough to help him or her open up and let the tears roll. Give a tissue and listen. Really listen openly. You don't have to say anything, just don't be too upset by hearing sadness or anger, or deep grief. Stay calm and reassuring.


If your friend is going through a crisis, don't say: "Everything is going to be all right" if it's not going to be. This goes right along with keeping it real. It's hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none, and it may undermine your friend's ability to get through the crisis as well as one might. Instead, tell your friend that "Whatever you decide or need, I am there for you." If the need is to talk: talk; if it's to sit quietly: sit there. If the need is to relax and get your minds off of things, offer to take in a movie or concert "together." Give a sincere hug. Stay honest, but upbeat and positive. Even a stranger would appreciate a sincere word or possibly a gesture of a quick hug, or a hand rubbed across the back for just a moment, but don't overdo it.



8- Give thoughtful advice when asked, but don't insist that your friend does as you say. Don't judge your friend, simply advise them when they reach out for advice or when they need to hear a little tough love to keep them out of dangerous situations where they might harm themselves or others. Tell your friend how you perceive their situation using factual information, and suggest what you might do in the same circumstances. Don't be offended by your friend listening to your advice and then deciding to ignore it. Your friend must make their own decisions.
  • Avoid giving unsought for advice. Allow venting where needed and be willing to offer advice if it's clear that it's sought. Always ask before assuming you can give advice.
  • Avoid saying "You should..." That may feel like you are imposing "shoulds" upon your friend and they're much less likely to listen.


9- Listen. You don't have to agree––just listen to what is being said. Make sure to stop talking for a moment and listen. Some people don't really find it interesting listening to someone talk about your or their feelings 24/7. If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, your friend isn't getting anything out of the relationship. For example, don't sigh and groan like the world is against you. Seek help elsewhere and try to stop being paranoid. Listening opens space between the two of you and reassures your friend that you're not judging them.


10- Step back and give your friend space. Understand if your friend wants to be alone or to hang out with other people. Allow it to happen. There's no need to become clingy or needy. Friendship doesn't require that you always have to be paired together. Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.


11- Don't be selfish. Grabbing, stealing, envying and/or begging are big nos in the rules of friendship. The friend will soon get tired of this and eventually move toward more selfless people who are willing to give the same as one gets, but a good friend will not demand it, yet one might mention being tired of it. Even if you are a total wreck , don't expect constant sympathy.
  • Don't expect, demand or abuse generosity or wear out your welcome. When your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate quickly. Money isn't, or doesn't have to be, an issue.
  • Go home when it seems like the time is right; don't be like furniture. Reach for the door knob and say "Bye." Turn the knob, leave...no one wants to be friends with a moocher or to feel used.


12- Be forgiving when things go wrong in your friendship. Hate the act, not the person. If your friend has done something wrong, don't judge them too harshly. If you really are a good friend, you'll never take anything against him/her. Everything can be talked about, anyway.



13- Live by the golden rule. Always treat a friend as you would want to be treated. Don't do or say anything that you wouldn't want done to you. Be there through thick and thin as long as that is how you feel as a true friend. Don't begrudge everything as a favor that has to be repaid immediately.



14- Seek to deepen your friendship over time. The more you are with one another, the less you idealize each other and the more you accept one another for who you really are. This is what being a truly good friend is really about––caring deeply for each other, warts and all.



15- Be trustworthy. Keep secrets, never break a promise, and let them know you care. If you don't think you can keep their secret, don't let them tell you, resist the temptation. Also, let them know you care by giving actions of love. If you are away, send them nice letters that mean a lot to both of you. If someone is bothering them and you know it, stand up for them! It is your job to watch out for them, as if you want them to watch out for you, and hopefully they do. Be a good guest at their house and realize that if/when you are truly best friends, their family is family, and her/his house is home to you.



mavnod

We live in a world where selfishness seems to be the rule of the day, and personal gain the objective of most relationships and endeavors. One of the most honorable character traits a person can develop is the ability to be loyal, whether to family, friends, an employer, or clubs and organizations to which we may belong.






Steps

1- Understand what being loyal means. You must be willing to allow your own interests to take second place to be truly loyal to another person or cause. Loyalty is simply the act of putting someone or something else ahead of one's self.






2- Be willing to sacrifice. Being loyal in a patriot sense, as in loyal to one's country, has placed millions in harm's way in wars throughout history. The people who serve in the modern military are loyal to their nation, its flag, and the purpose they serve for. Being loyal to a friend or your own family can also require sacrifice



3- Take time to look at the needs of whomever will have your loyalty. To take steps of loyalty, you need to recognize that it is a deliberate effort, and to be truly loyal to someone, you have to be willing to invest yourself, your time and energy in them.






4- Ask yourself if what or who you are offering your loyalty to is worthy of the investment. Is the person or organization who asks for your loyalty worthwhile? Depending on what philosophy or religion you may follow, you might find guidance there. In the Judeo-Christian religion, the order of loyalty may be summed up as "God, Family, and Country", putting loyalty to God first, then family, and finally, country.






5- Consider the benefits of loyalty. This may be most obvious in the case of employment. Being a loyal employee often creates its own rewards, with increases in pay, job security, and respect from your employer. Being a loyal employer, who is willing to look after your employees, will give them incentive to be more dedicated and productive for you.






6- Weigh the costs of being loyal. You should always structure the hierarchy of your loyalties according to your valuation of their importance. If being loyal to a group or club causes you social ostracism or creates negative influence in your family or other social circumstance, it may not be worthwhile to continue that loyalty.






7- Balance your loyalties with the day-to-day needs of your own life and your family. Being loyal to a volunteer group or social organization at the expense of taking time for your family may result in suffering loss in your personal relationships.






8- Look for reward and appreciation in your efforts to be loyal. Being loyal to an unappreciative person or group is not very rewarding, and although this implies a selfish motivation for your loyalty, it is a practical thing to expect the person or group to which you give your loyalty to be loyal to you in return.





mavnod

It does not take much to realize that putting other people's interests, needs or wishes first is greatly appreciated in many different places and cultures. The main benefit of being selfless is knowing that you are making other people happy. Read on to learn more about being a selfless person.








Steps


1- Determine how close or far away you are from what you consider being "selfless". Once you get an idea on how much you need to improve, the following steps will be much easier. If you are not sure if you're pretty close to selfless, or worlds away, there is a simple way to find out. When the opportunity comes to be selfless, write how you responded on a piece of paper. Make sure that you react how you normally would, because if you don't, that solution is pointless




2- It's time to begin. First things first, we should go into the definition of what selfless reallymeans. Being selfless is simply just putting others before yourself, right? Nope! When you're selfless you're not only living by that definition, you have to be willing to do this. The want to do this also helps as well.






3- Do more for others, but still take care of yourself. If you do more things for others, that's great. If you think you are selfless, that's wonderful. How many people do you know who are selfless, yet still care for themselves? You are just as important as anyone else is. So, now we should go into how you can be selfless but still care about yourself. So far, we have already clarified that when you do things for others, you put yourself out of the way for them. When you do these things, afterward you need to somehow continue doing what you set out to do. 




4- Do things for a good cause. This means a couple of different things. When you do things, make sure it is for a good purpose. You should already know not to help anybody - no matter how close, do something that will harm another person. This can also mean to participate in events that help others. When you do this, sure there may be some kind of ulterior motive that will somehow benefit you, but it is better if their isn't, because that is not really what you are trying to achieve. Remember, happiness is priceless, though






5- Give to everyone...even those who are ungrateful. Giving is a lot more difficult than it sounds. For others, it is really simple. Whether giving is something that you need to work on, or comes naturally, it may seem hard to give to people who do not appreciate what you do. That may even be irritating. Sometimes, the good that you send out is and the feeling you will get is a good enough praise. Giving really builds up your image of being selfless and your personal belief that you are selfless. Always remember, no good deed goes unnoticed.






mavnod



When you really build up a friendship you'll want to make sure it stays forever. So here are some tips for maintaining that relationship with your friend



Steps
1- Appreciate your friends. Friends are like being on the toilet... you can dump on them, and everything you dump will eventually flush away.




2- Make sure it's two-sided. You don't want to be the only one trying to make the friendship work out. The other person has to do the same, or else all your work would be for nothing.




3- Show interest.Make your friend feel special. Again with the two-sided thing, it shouldn't be all about them.




4- Have fun together.






5- Trust each other.Make sure you are both keeping your promises. Try not to gossip about and backstab this friend.






6- Cry together. Be there for your friend, and if they feel the same way about you, they will be there for you.






7- Support each other through good times and bad. Even if they aren't very popular, stick by their side. They will truly appreciate that.






8- Understand that in every friendship there will be arguments. But it doesn't mean that the friendship is over.






9- Keep in touch. This applies especially if your friend lives far away.






10- Respect your friends










Tips
  • When you have an argument, don't fight or insult each other; just talk about it!
  • Always have patience in your friend's fault,it takes time to do the right thing.
  • A true friendship is something that can stand the test of time. Simply because you haven't spoken or met your friend in years, does not mean that you are friends no longer.


mavnod


Hello
With so many 'fakes' in the world, it can be hard to establish a real person. Why not stand out by being true to yourself and the people around you? It is important as you will become more trusted by friends and family if you are real with others and yourself.
We all want to fit in, and you can fit in without changing yourself.


Steps

  1. 1
    Don't go along with the crowd. This is the most important step. Many times, we end up doing what everyone else is doing so we can fit in. But that's not the solution to being successful. Being real means being yourself. Also, when you are yourself, you end up with more friends. You attract like minded people to yourself and end up having some great conversations with such people. Remember this is possible only when you don't try to be or to do anything you are not meant to do. Just be the real you.
  2. 2
    Avoid toxic people. Toxic people are people that pressure you to do bad things. Don't give in to peer pressure. Ever. You'd be doing something that isn't you. When you're doing something you don't enjoy, you're not really being yourself, are you? See, the thing is we all have a dark and a bright side. But it is wise to just nurture the bright one.
  3. 3
    Its okay if you are not sure. If you aren't sure who you really are, forget about who you are right now, it will come to you eventually. Just write down all the qualities you would like to have and act as if you already have them. This is called reinventing yourself. It may be hard at first. But don't give up! Eventually, you'll be yourself, the person you want to be. Start form the easy ones and then move on to those which are a bit difficult to attain. Just don't pressurise yourself. Pressure does not always lead to positive things.
  4. 4
    Don't follow those typical notions. There are certain things that are considered as 'cool' and there isn't any explanation so as to why. Don't follow them if you do not believe in them. Things such as bunking, smoking and drinking can be considered as 'cool' in some places. But these have a bad impact in the long or short run. Remember anything and everything that has a negative impact is not 'cool' and can never be. Just believe in yourself.

mavnod




The Invisible Web


In our effort to track down information on the Web, we employ an arsenal of tools. We may browse the handpicked sites of a directory like Yahoo!  or the results of a search engine like Google . Some cast an even wider net by using metasearch tools like Search.com  or ixquick . And yet we still don't always find what we need.

This material has been referred to as the Hidden Internet, the Deep Web or the Invisible Web. The Invisible Web is comprised of information stored in databases, according to Chris Sherman, Webmaster of About.com's Web Search . Spiders and robots cannot enter these databases.

"It's as if they've run smack into the entrance of a massive library with securely bolted doors," Sherman said. "Spiders can record the library's address, but can tell you nothing about the books, magazines or other documents."

What else makes up the Invisible Web?

  • Non-HTML files (PDF files, etc.)
  • Webbed databases
  • Sites requiring registration or login
  • Archives (newspapers and magazines, etc.)
  • Dynamically created Web pages
  • Interactive tools (calculators, etc.)
Thankfully, gateways have been developed to mine these hidden troves. Think of them as database or search tool finders. Here are a few of the best:

  • Direct Search
    Maintained by librarian Gary Price, this site provides direct access to the search interfaces of Invisible Web resources.

    Invisible Web 
  • A Yahoo!-like directory of more than 10,000 specialized databases (business, legal, travel, etc.). Includes free- and fee-based resources.
  • Internet Oracle
    Search forms and direct links to hundreds of search engines, from general purpose directories to niche topic indexes. Categories of databases include Reference and Research, Medical, Maps, Legal and Government.

mavnod



Hello people

start to a blog a bit more seriously 

and here are 9 tips that you should have implemented to have a successful blog.



1. Have a Consistent URL

The identity you create for your blog lies in the URL. Once you decide on a URL for your blog, do not ever change it. Every time you change it you need to popularize your blog all over again. Besides, the technical problem is that the search engines and articles that reference posts in your blog have links to the older URL and it can create a lot of confusion and hence lost readership. Choose your URL carefully and stick to it.

2. Choice of subject to blog about

Choose the subject of your blog with care and consideration. Your blog should mirror your passion and knowledge on the subject. Identify whether you will be able to consistently post on the subject. Some topics that are search engine friendly and that never really die out are technology blogs, product related blogs, city centric blogs and money making blogs. There is always news to give your readers and also there are a lot of points to discuss on. More challenging blogs to write are blogs on thoughts, ideas, short stories, poems. In these blogs you have to be able to provide self- driven original content whereas in the previous kind there are other websites from where you can draw inspiration and ideas.

3. High Quality Content can get hard to produce consistently

Posting quality content consistently keeps your readers engaged and makes them come back for more. In the initial days posting is easy since you will have a lot of ideas in your mind. However, delivering high quality content to your readers day after day gets tougher as time progresses and ideas dry up. You need to keep innovating and ideating constantly.

4. Marketing your blog is hard work

Once you have content in your blog, its time to tell the world. The challenge is – ‘How do you tell prospective readers that your blog has what they are looking for?’ Social networking sites like stumbleupon, orkut, twitter, facebook and a zillion other websites are breeding grounds for finding prospective readers. Building your network can be a time consuming, never ending task, but it doesn’t end there, you need to make the effort to make your network aware of your blog. The benefits can only be exponential. Getting them to post comments is a completely different ball game.

5. Technical know how is required

Lack of technical know-how can hinder you from tweaking your blog and giving it the finesse and feel that you envisaged for your blog. Serious bloggers will have to dabble with HTML, JavaScript and so on. It is this technology that can give the blog the uniqueness, user-friendliness and functionality that makes it stand out. Be prepared to invest some time in learning web technologies. Being search engine savvy can go a long way in getting the traffic that you are looking for.

6. Research, Read, Reflect

Every post is a brand new post. Don’t be surprised that you would have to regularly research on your topic, as there is always something new out there. Read what others have to say and reflect. It involves a lot of hard work, patience, persistence to read content, assimilate and formulate your own content. At times, you should be ready to dig deep within your self.

7. Expect to ride an emotional roller coaster

Do not expect an easy ride when you blog. You can put in a lot of hard work and then realize that nobody is commenting on your post and on the other hand you will write a one liner and you will have the whole world talking about it. You will have days when you will be banging your head against the wall wondering what to post about and then there will be days you have so many ideas in your head that you don’t know where to start. So be ready to enjoy the ride.

8. Be prepared to sacrifice something in life

Since all this hard work is going to use up your time, you have to be prepared to give up something. For those that have a full time job – your personal life or work life is going to take a hit. Maybe some of your other hobbies or interests will get affected. So you need to decide carefully on the things in life that you are ready to forego in order to become successful as a blogger.

9. Writing a good post takes time and patience

There may be few gifted bloggers out there that can churn out interesting posts easily. Some have this skill from practice, and for some, it is a gift, but for the majority of us it is hard work right from coming up with the title to the way the post is structured to the content of the post. Be prepared to go through many iterations of it before you come up with the post that you would feel proud to publish.

   mavnod

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